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Worms Of The Winter

by Jordie Saenz

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1.
well, you went and thought me up and you drew me in your head and then you sewed me up a needle and a thread could you hurry? hurry up! the sky is turning red and we've got no time stop no time to to rest our heads, no time to catch our breath
2.
Hang 04:07
paste your soul and paste your heart on paper make a work of art i’ll put it in a priceless frame and hang it on a wall cut out minds with cut out thoughts lay them out connect the dots i saw it spelling out your name and hung it on a wall no matter how much beauty we hang we can never turn back time’s hands and take back the weeks that we lost in denial but time catches up whenever you smile i saw you looking through the lens to watch the light and how it bends you saw it spelling out my name and hung it on a wall
3.
Out Of Tune 01:30
you put your two cents in you’ve had some change to spare since you’ve been out robbing banks you’re never gonna win so now you spend your nights out rioting and raising cain so raise a glass to father time i’ve a thick hide and watchful eyes and soon enough i’ll be fine alms for the rich coming from the blind i wish that they would go and buy themselves brand new spines you’re holding me loosely while i’m dressing my wounds but you’ll stay here listening when i sing out of tune
4.
i have been betrayed by time i’ve forgotten how it feels to much light will rend me blind i’ve gone headache over heels i’ve been taking back these lines i’ve a fear of waxen seals too much light will rend me blind i’ve gone headache over heels if you knew me like the back of your hand there’d be less i’d have to say to you don’t be worried though i do understand but i’ve got nothing left to say to you of anywhere else you could have been you had to be crawling underneath my skin of anywhere else you could have slept you had to sleep in the greyest bed well the time is pulling down on your eyes and it seems your consciousness is about to ignite if you find that there is war in your mind then i promise i’ll be listening all through the night
5.
when does the shopping mall close? is there a place to eat here? there's a coffeeshop right down the road i'll see you in five, dear when will your tree trunk eyes die? tea leaf ballet dancer morning cartoons in the sky side order: blind cancer
6.
i’m washing all the shadows from my hands and i’m rinsing all my stains til i’m clean and i’m hoping that you’re starting to understand that my actions aren’t the fibers of me and i’m trying to fix myself on the inside because i’ve realized that i’m jaded and gray and while everyone is shining like christmas lights i’m just fading away and you hate it when it starts beating faster and you hate it when it slows to a stop and you swear that you’ve moved on but you pass her by and you can feel your heart rate drop i know your name i never got a chance to know your heart far and away it seems as if we’ll always be apart i walked on the remains of the north star and i salvaged everything that we could but you and i never got as far as we both hoped that we would i wished away the worms of the winter and i prayed away those parts of the past and i tried my best to hurry and hinder her and carry her away from the crash i know your name i never got a chance to know your heart far and away it seems as if we’ll always be apart i’ll sit through the seasons wear patience as a coat with an itch in my ribcage and something stuck in my throat i’ll wait till you’re listening when the night finally falls and i’ll take all your letters and hang them on a wall the worms of the winter may eat up the past but i pray for summer though i know it won’t last
7.
Not Fine 00:58
in your house i dine i take this bread i drink this wine i'm not fine because i close my eyes to lead the blind hallelujah
8.
you search the world for what you have you cannot see what's in your hands all you ever wanted was here and i'm firing blanks and you're firing back bullets in my chest your molecules, they never stay the same change their names shift their shapes make their way back home you're guilty, but you never take the blame walk away who can say what today will bring you're finding out you don't know who you are ask the stars count your scars you're still far away
9.
Vacant Head 02:30
inside a vacant head standing there in the limelight take your bows again we’ll walk forward inside an empty head keep me smiling as you dance in the spotlight tucked in a broken bed feet are cold and your eyes are closed tight inside a vacant head standing there in the beams of the moonlight take your bows again we’ll walk forward inside an empty head keep me smiling as you dance in the spotlight tucked in a broken bed feet are cold and your eyes are closed tight
10.
Making Plans 04:00
my sight’s no longer skewed and the world seems vaguely new and something in your iris gave me a 20/20 view it must be by god’s grace that i’m moved to make a change to eliminate the latter of my nature’s give and take i’m making plans you’d be proud of me god’ll make a man out of me and maybe if god allows you’ll be mine i’m growing up, i’ve got sturdy arms and it seems so close, but it’s still so far i’m praying that god allows you’ll be mine you’ve been causing landslides and ripples in these eyes and something in me skips a beat when our trains of thought collide you’ve been causing snowfall and tearing down these walls you’ve been breaking barricades your words are a wrecking ball i’m making plans you’d be proud of me god’ll make a man out of me and maybe if god allows you’ll be mine i’m growing up, i’ve got sturdy arms and it seems so close, but it’s still so far i’m praying that god allows you’ll be mine

about

i wrote and recorded all these songs while i was in high school, from ages 15 to 17. they're some of the first songs i had ever written.

i want to honor my experimental, inquisitive self, teaching myself music & lyricism & how to record & how to use MIDI instruments instead of doing homework.

i think some of these songs are silly. i also think some of these songs are worlds better than the songs i'm writing nowadays.

either way, they are a moment of who i am. a little artifact of myself. an old fossil of my younger days. i love them and i hope you do too.

credits

released October 20, 2017

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Jordie Saenz California

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